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| The Pipeline is a monthly article about the latest happenings in the adult film industry, written by famous porn critic Roger T. Pipe. |
March 2001 |
Hello once again dear readers. We have reached that magical time of the year when the deep cold of winter has begun to lose its grip on us all. The grass is getting ready to turn green and best of all, baseball is right around the corner. It’s the time of year when we have so much to look forward to, when every team still has a chance at chasing down the Yankees and we’ve got nothing but bright sunshine staring us in the face for the next several months.
Even as baseball rosters are pared down for the start of the season, porn rosters are fluctuating as well. Last month, we had VCA adding Julie Meadows and Chloe to their team. This month, ex-Extreme babe Kristi Myst has joined the Sin City roster, joining Eva Vincent, Jessica Drake and Kamiko. With this signing, they have quietly assembled one of the more impressive rosters in all of porn. I wonder how a contract babe with a name that’s the same as a sweet fruit would work out? We’re still awaiting word on who the new Extreme Girl is going to be.
Drew Barrymore got a little help from man’s best friend this month. When her mansion went up in flames, Drew’s trusty dog actually woke her up in time to get out of the house. The fire destroyed the home, causing over three quarters of a million in damage. Of course the real tragedy of this story is that the pooch also saved Drew's hubby Tom Greene. Think of what a hero the mutt would have been if he simultaneously saved a piece of ass like Drew and let Tom finally do what his career is destined to do soon.
With Silvia Saint recently retired, porn has lost a few other women to life after smut. The word is that Zoe is calling it quits and late word is that Miko Lee has also hung up her garter belts and platform heels.
Those of you who have been watching the second season of Survivor know that things have gotten a little bloody in the Outback. Adding some spice to the hype surrounding the show, PETA has decided that they need to investigate the show because of a recent pig slaying. I’m sure they must be loving the fact that until this week, one of the players, Kimmy (A woman so annoying, it doesn’t even matter that she’s fairly hot.) was a vocal vegan. That’s what America wants to see, a whiny little bitch, backstabbing her way to a million dollars in prize money, lecturing her starving teammates on the morality of eating the few fish they can catch or the one pig they manage to slaughter. I say they should have just tied her to a steak and found out what tofu fed bubble head tastes like.
The music world had its annual get together this month. The Grammy Awards were the usual collection of expensive gowns and self congratulatory bullshit. How can anyone take this seriously when they give out awards for Best Native American Themed Album and nominate Paul McCartney in the Best Alternative category. Hello, Steely Dan? I thought those guys were dead. Best of all was the controversy surrounding controversial white boy de jour, Eminem. His violent, racist, anti-women, homophobic and utterly worthless lyrics brought about great controversy outside, but inside the hall, it was all smiles and standing ovations for the young domestic abuser. Personally, I think it’s funny when the PC elite get together and drown themselves in their hypocrisy. If anyone outside that hall were to drop so many F-Bombs (And I don’t mean Fuck, the other one) or talk about raping and beating women, they would be public enemy number one. This same happy horseshit PC Lib crowd would string up Joe Citizen, but when Skittles does it, it’s all art baby. Wrap yourselves in the First Amendment all you want hypocrites, right is still right and wrong is still wrong.
With the Grammy Awards still fresh in our memory, the Oscar nominations have been announced. To no ones surprise, Gladiator, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon and Traffic were among the top nominees. Now that I’ve seen all five nominated films, I am sure of two things. First, that Traffic is by far the best of the lot and second, it hasn’t a chance in Hell of winning. Julia Roberts is a stone cold lock to win the Best Actress nod. From the grossly overlooked pile, check out ‘Almost Famous’. ‘U-571’, and Renee Zeilwiger for her performance in ‘Nurse Betty.’
Things haven’t been going for wrap mogul Sean ‘Puffy’ Combs. With this trail heating up, the Puffster lost big time in love this month. His widely publicized relationship with dancer turned actress turned singer Jennifer Lopez has come to an end. Not that Puffy is going to have a hard time finding a date. If he is acquitted, he will hit the streets a rich, successful businessman and if he’s found guilty, I’m sure he’ll be the most popular prison on the block. (And can keep the cots warm for Eminem’s inevitable trip up the river.) On the other hand, Jennifer’s future as a single girl is a lock. Word is there is already a line of potential suitors that stretches halfway around her ass.
Last month, I reported that Max Hardcore and Legend had parted ways. At that time, his future was uncertain and a number of rumors were flying regarding new partnerships. Max himself ended the speculation, announcing that he would be doing his own distribution from now on.
Zoe had ended the questions about which country would get her next contract. For now, the answer is no one. The hot word is that Zoe has quit the jizz bizz for a now to concentrate on mainstream projects. Let’s just hope that her jump to mainstream goes more smoothly than her recent night at a swank party thrown for Dennis Rodman. While waiting outside the party for her car, Zoe was struck by a careless valet. Not seriously hurt, the blonde sex bomb was a little miffed at the driver’s shitty attitude. Dude, when you a woman with her own car, don’t jump out, pretend it didn’t happen then yell at her to move her vehicle.
With her career on the fast track Haven announced a new web partnership with Jenteal. With her movie career now attached to the fast rising Jill Kelly Productions and this new web deal, the beautiful young blonde is well on her way. A number of recent magazines have sported her picture on the cover, she was one of the on stage girls at the AVN Awards Show and Haven was even seen on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno. It doesn’t get much bigger than that, but some of us still remember her when she just a cute eighteen year old looking for Janine vids.
Jim Gunn, best known for his all-girl video exploits, has announce a new, non-veggie line. His new Naughty Schoolgirls movie will feature six scenes featuring new girls getting it on with hot boys and girls. Cashing in on the plaid and pigtails craze, this line will feature girls in their own naughty schoolgirl uniforms and is bound to please the marketplace to no end.
Las Vegas Novelties added Chloe to their team last month and now has just inked a five year deal with super hot VCA contract girl Julie Meadows. The deal will put Julie on store shelves with her own line of toys so that fans can take a little piece of this hot babe home for some private time. Company President Serenity comments, "We're very happy to have Julie on board! She's a smart women who works hard. We look forward to our expanded involvement with Julie and VCA Pictures."
In this season of award shows, another set of nominations has been announced. Along with a team of critics from other web sites such as www.adultdvdtalk.com, www.dvdpornreviews.com and www.adultdvdreviews.comI assisted in the selection of nominees for the first Web Adult DVD (WAD) awards. Awards will be given in five categories, Best Feature, Best All Sex, Best Interactive, Best Bonus Material and Best DVD. The independent panel of judges will bring fans of DVD porn a unique set of awards based on merit rather than sales or popularity. VCA led the way, with 9 nominations, followed by Wicked with 6 while Private and Digital Sin each grabbed 5 nominations. Five discs tied for the lead with three nominations each. (The maximum number possible for any single title.) They are, Devil in Miss Jones 6 and White Lightning from VCA, The Pyramid from Private, Watchers from Sin City and Lord of Asses from Extreme. Five other discs managed two nominations each.
That’s all we have time for in this Spring Training edition of the Pipeline. Remember everyone, this is the time of year when hope truly does spring eternal. Here's to a quick spring, a long summer and all the red hot action you can handle on and off the field.
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