Can you believe it’s October already? Time for all the classic/album rock stations to run their very fresh Rock-Tober contests and all porn sites to declare the month Cock-Tober. It’s also the month that ends with Halloween. Of course, some people play dress up all year. Britney Spears has been dressing like a Max Girl all year, Rob Black has had the Dennis Rodman look in full effect and God only knows what Kids Vegas and Sparkle are supposed to be. (They’ve been posing as porn directors for a while now.) Most importantly, dear readers, this is the month when the Pipe family celebrates the birth of their little bundle of joy. I’m sure by month’s end, I will have been showered with best wishes and gifts, but it never hurts to pander just a bit, right?
Since there are so many October birthdays, I’ll pepper a few here and there so you can send a card to your favorite performer.
Speaking of a whole year’s worth of adoration, Jenna Jameson fans can finally have their favorite blonde porn Goddess on their wall all year round. The new J2K calendar has finally hit the store shelves. The calendar features the biggest adult star of the decade in a number of very attractive poses. Now Jenna truly is a girl for all seasons. Jenna will also be quite busy shooting ‘Dream Quest’ a big budget project for Wicked and Adam & Eve. Stephanie Swift, Asia Carrera, Shayla LeVeaux and Felecia will also star in the film.
October 1- This date is shared by two of the hottest women in all of porn, Heather Hunter and Layla Jade. I was lucky enough to spend a day with Layla when she got back into town this month. As she celebrates her nineteenth birthday in the US, she is hard at work making herself the hottest newcomer of the year. (She’s already my first choice.)
October 4th- Shared by Tammi Ann and Kirsty Waay. Here are a couple of hotties for the where are they now file. We miss you both.
Did anyone else catch the shots of tennis star Andre Agassi and recently retired tennis star Steffi Graf? I guess Andre is over former wife Brooke Shields. Now, I realize that Steffi has some killer legs Dre, but come on, with little Anna Pornakouva now legal don’t you think you should have at least tried to steal her away from Humbert Federov? On the other hand, at least he stayed away from Penis Williams and her little brother.
October 5th- Juli Ashton. One of the prettiest and most genuine women I have ever had the pleasure to meet.
Never let it be said that I gloss over mistakes made in this column, no matter how small. Last month I said that Ex-Extreme Girl Alana (AKA Alana Evans) was on the short list to become the next Buttwoman over at Elegant. That may have been true, however, All Good Video beat them to the punch and has signed the sexy blonde to a deal. According to Alana, the deal is a non-exclusive one, but will should land her a number of box covers and let the rest of you see what I’ve been saying for a year, that this is one super hot young lady.
October 7th- Careena Collins. If every porn comeback yielded such volcanic results, then we would hunt down every 90’s star and beg them to come back.
Speaking of Alana, I had the chance to interview her at a signing in Los Angeles last month. She was as charming as she is beautiful and very candid. I don’t want to spoil anything, but there was one piece of news I just had to get out. Alana recently shot a DP scene for ‘Up Your Ass 12’ with Jake Steed AND Lexington Steele. I don’t know about all of you, but from where I sit, that’s a whole lot of meat.
October 9th- Shared by two of the most stunning looking women to ever grace the blue screen, Savannah and Stacy Donovan. Sadly, one is dead and the other dead to the industry.
Extreme Associates are branching out a bit. Not only are the gang at ExAss trying to take the wrestling world by storm, they are also diversifying their porn empire. I got a look at the first two issues of Extreme Magazine. It’s a high gloss hard-core mag featuring the women of Extreme. Though issue two has a fantastic layout of the awesome Ashlyn Gere, I’m sure most of you are like me and only read it for the articles.
October 10th- The first of three Rog Top Ten names with birthdays this month, the legendary Ms. Tiffany Mynx. (Number 5)
From the Where are they now files, I got some email this week from Nena Cherry. Though Nena takes exception to some things I recently wrote, I was happy to find that she is alive and well, living in Texas. She says that her life has been totally turned around and is quite happily married and raising her daughter. I hope you’ll all join me in wishing her well.
October 13th- Top Ten Girl number 2, Samantha Stylle (Number 1) celebrates on this day. Look for big things from this incredible superstar this year.
First it was Jenna Jameson stealing scenes from Howard Stern in ‘Private Parts’, now two other porn stars can be seen brightening up the screen in recent DVD releases. Those of you who took a look at the deleted scenes from ‘Cruel Intentions’ (A great movie by the way) might have recognized one of the naked cheerleaders as porn super star Alisha Klass. Proving that it’s quality, not quantity that makes for a great role, ‘Lish uttered an unforgettable line. "Books are for fags." Also, for those of you with very quick eyes, you can catch Leanni Lei in the Nick Cage thriller ‘8mm.’
October 17th- Solveig and Rog share this birthday, though we all know this deep throat diva is much younger than everyone’s favorite porn critic. (Who for the record, doesn’t deep throat and doesn’t play to try.)
In spite of some of the amazingly off base rumors from Gene Ross, I have been assured that Elegant Angel contract babe Elle is not leaving the company. No one seems to know where this rumor started, but it is totally false, as are reports that she had her perfect breasts altered in any way.
October 22nd- Perhaps the most asked about semi-retired porn star I can think of, Janet Jackme. (How about a birthday deep throat contest between Janet and Solveig?)
Also over at Elegant, there was apparently some mix up on a set that may have cost them the gang bang vent of the year. On the verge of shooting Nikki Andersson, AKA the most beautiful woman currently walking the face of the earth, in an eight man gang bang, something went terribly wrong. One side insisted on twelve guys, the other held firm at eight. Instead of agreeing to her terms, the producers choose to go with a list minute replacement who would open up for the additional four cocks. Quick poll time readers, which would make you want to grab a movie off the shelf, the gorgeous Nikki with eight guys or a rather hideous looking D level girl taking on a dozen? Sometimes, less is most definitely more my friends.
October 23- The Queen of Extreme, Jasmin St. Claire takes a break from blowing everyone in sight and blows out the candles on her birthday cake.
Barely legal bad girl Alyssa Haven has had a busy year. Since I first told you about this super cute pre-twenty blonde, a year ago, she has been very busy on the web and doing fetish work. With a scene shot for Xplor Media, released in Cherries 2 and one un-released lesbian pairing for Metro under her belt, Alyssa will get her first big time exposure with Rookie Cookies 4 from Elegant Angel. She has also just signed with an agent and tells me that she is making the step up to the big time. I wonder if that makes her first little masturbation scene I shot worth more?
October 25th- Recently re-surfaced Keisha celebrates another year on earth and hopefully another year in front of the camera.
October 29th- Top Ten Girl number three and most deserving of being showered with gifts is the lovely and talented Serenity (Number 4). I’ve actually got something to shower her with, but I’m pretty sure she would Bobbitt-ize me before the first volley could ever reach its target. So, I’ll have to settle for sending her my fondest wishes as well as heaping another year of blatant adoration on this most deserving beauty.
As if we needed any proof that people in high places are reading the Pipeline, two news stories should confirm just that. As you may recall, a month ago, I pleaded for the release of one time Madame, Heidi Fliess. Well folks, guess who walked out jail a free ‘ho this month? That’s right, someone call up Chuck Sheen and tell him he can stop smacking porn stars around, Heidi is back in town. The other person mentioned in my plea, was California’s embarrassing freshman Governor Gray Davis. Well, the walking contradiction has run into bigger foes than yours truly and has landed himself smack in the middle of a recall effort. The folks at www.recalldavis.com need only 1.2 million votes to get the recall of this stale holdover from the failed Jerry Brown era on the ballot. Good luck guys, you have my support.
October 30th- Oddly enough, two women I used to confuse for each other all the time, Tamara Longley and Renee Morgan share the same birthday. I’ve never seen them in the same place at the same time either. Hmmm, someone get me Mulder on the line.
This just in from the ‘What the Fuck’ file. What the fuck is up with urination scenes in porn videos? As far as I know, there has been a self imposed restriction against Golden Shower scenes in US porn, but some companies seem to be working their way around this. So far, my favorite smut provider, Seymore Butts has been the worst culprit of these stupid urinary tricks. At least once in every video these days, he has Alisha Klass or some other lovely, let loose a stream of hour old beer onto the side of the road or tennis court. You know, I’m the last guy to tell anyone what they should, or shouldn’t get off on, but there is nothing that kills a nice round of self stimulation quite like watching some chick pee all over themselves. I think that we need some sort of warning label to keep this sort of stuff out of mainstream jerk off vids. Do you think if I called Tipper Gore, she would help me get the Senate to hold hearings?
October 31st- Halloween is also shared birthday, this time by Heather Lee and Alexandra Nice.
A second what the fuck has to go out to Coral Sands. Just as her long awaited first scenes with men are hitting the shelves, I hear the incredible looking brunette has gone and chopped off all of her hair. Ummm, what the fuck?
Hey, that worked out nicely. I run out of birthdays and news stories at the same time. I guess I should get going now. I have to plan my Halloween costume, though some would say I’ve been masquerading as a journalist for years. I’m thinking of going as Tom Byron, cuz that guy gets laid by all the hotties. Oh, and I have to clear off my desk to make room for all the cards and gifts my years of service will undoubtedly earn me.
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